Why can't we embrace ageing? And should we..?
Something's happening out there...a sort of '180' on what we've bought into over the years about 'preventing' and 'slowing' the signs of ageing. A level of comfort, of disruption, of women embracing what's happening with ageing rather than running away to hide or fix it. But I don't know how it sits with me...
At the heart of why most of us are so motivated to remain looking no older than 35, is because of what the media and marketing over decades has told us is an attractive version of a woman.
That smooth, symmetrical, youthful face is what we are told we should strive for. But now, and accelerating around the world and in NZ, are those standing up for ageing. Those advocating vocally to saying 'no' to what we've been made to believe is beauty. Hilary Barry, Petra Bagust and many more prominent, gracefully ageing women are all about the natural process.
Further afield in New York, you also have vocal and highly-intelligent journalists that we've mentioned before in this blog - like Jessica DeFino, making their life's work about outting these big beauty and skincare brands and their media. They're shining a light on a more sobering and honest picture drawing from simple science, flushing out commercial bullshit and all the stuff your skin really doesn't need.
What I'm keen to explore though, is why even the most intelligent and assertive among us still desire to maintain a less wrinkly complexion, as we head through our 40s, 50s and beyond.
Here's my view.
The flipside to a visibly ageing body and skin, is the feeling of ferocious inner confidence, the roar of increased wisdom and eperience that we get as women as we age. The stoicism in our choices that are 100% for our higher selves.
Because we got to an age and we started to actually shed what we'd learned or were told, or judged by. Where formerly we used to make decisions based on what others were doing, or thinking or saying.
Some of us became mother lions - bringing a whole new level of assertion, and those that didn't go down the kids route, grabbed at life with gusto, flair and drive in other ways, pursuing things that made absolute sense. Hells our libidos even came back with new found creativity...
So just as a recent TV Sunday Show segment discussed, women as they age are navigating life with a new found passion. A wiser, stronger, more assertive version of themselves. And due to the fact we finally feel ready to tackle life with a new lust and resilience, we'd really appreciate if our blimmin body and face kept pace with us!
Our flawless and wrinkle-free skins were perhaps wasted on our younger selves, because now we want to rock out in a new way and we feel we deserve the complexion to go with how we feel inside!
And yes I know - this 'ultimate picture' of beauty has been dictated by marketers and media and global modelling etc...and we rush and stress and are stretched, so it's no wonder we've accelerated ageing. We could just get a new persepctive, or accept that we've done it to ourselves.
But I can see both sides, and I definitely don't begrudge women for trying to achieve an outside that matches how they feel inside.
I'd love to help change the game on ageing. And enjoy the role that we can play in meeting your face and body where they are....flipping the script on whats dictated to us as 'beauty'. And we'll continue to enjoy witnessing the advocates for that shift in prominent media roles.
Because embracing ageing naturally can, and is stunningly beautiful and brave. But everyone is on their journey. Their trials and tribulations. Their narrative and story. And we all need to decide where our comfort is with ourselves mentally and physically.
Sometimes the hardest thing to achieve - just like with nutrition and dieting, is moderation. Managing portions and not eliminating whole food groups... doing good stuff for our guts, whilst no epraving ourselves of all treats and indulgences. Is no different to achieving moderation in beauty, skincare, injectables, treatments....and embracing ageing.
My conclusion...is to develop a general 'north compass' that you'd like to embrace ageing more. That it is truly beautiful. That your version is beautiful. But also meet yourself where you are.
And if you want to go grab some Botox because that ever-increasing genetic frown line makes you feel like shit every morning....for the love of life - do it. 'Eat the cake' (in moderation ;))
Adopting a mindset of enhancement - and not full 'reset' is the key. Understand where you drivers are. Ask yourself: do I love ME really? Are you surrounded by those that make you feel fab? Have you gone too far...can you rest it up for a bit?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and forever and always ladies, go grab your life with conviction xx